Secret Stolen Pleasures: How Our Lives Are Affected By Porn Addictions.......

 If I may ask without maybe running the risk of sounding a bit too forward, what kind of freaky circus hoops behind closed doors are our women made to jump through by their men?

Does your man demand that you try to keep up with the lusty images on the adult movie screen? No matter what your answer to this question, you probably wouldn't even be aware of it anyway if it was the case! And while every relationship these days in 2009 may be a bit different in their needs, desires and fantasies, one thing is for certain, EVERYONE draws the line at some point in time as to what their limitations may be.

But a porn addicted man just may not have a limit as to what the boundaries are in what he will ask his woman to do to satisfy his desires.

It's an unachievable standard that gets raised higher and higher, and only after every effort has been made to accommodate the twisted fantasies that are possessed by their men, the bar will be raised once again to unrealistic and unwholesome heights! A never ending demand to match what warped data that these sex addicted men bombard their brains and sauté' their subconscious with as though what they are putting their wives/girlfriends through is true intimacy!

These men come with an already prepackaged expectation of what "larger than life" detailed fantasies they crave for you to bring to fruition for them. But what many "willing to please" women are very unaware of and do not understand is that they are merely interchangeable sex mannequins in the overall scheme of things when they painfully come into the realization of how quickly another woman can easily fill in that slot that she thought was hers and hers alone sacredly!

Sexual pin cushions!

This is a truth that many refuse to acknowledge, but while most decent women will hold a man willingly and happily captive with the higher attributes that she possesses, there are MANY women out here who depend on their sexual prowess, tricks and gimmicks alone to attract and keep a man, and when you play this type of game do understand that it is only a matter of time before someone else appears with the same old played out strategy wrapped mysteriously in a different intriguing package.

Not let us agree that men watch porn to absorb a variety of sexual scenarios that they couldn't possibly experience as a regular working class man as opposed to a groupie dodging celebrity who has "got it like that!"

It has been proven that watching pornographic images stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain very similar to the manner in which drugs do. Isn't that frightening that now a person who is addicted to porn can now destroy their life in the same manner as a drug addict? But the startling part of this is at least the drug addicted individual will get caught much faster in his/her addiction because there must be some type of external interaction that must transpire in order to continue their habit. In other words, its just a matter of time before the drug abuser will get discovered.

But all that is required of a porn addict is an internet connection, a locked room, a towel (With a little lubricant! Lol!) and he/she is good to go!

It must be said that this is a heart hardening, mind altering habit that leeches a man of his emotion that should be reserved for his woman ONLY and limits the complete range of his ability to truly loving!

While he may go through the motions of being a loving man toward you as you foolishly continue to invest your precious love into him, all that will be left of his love for you could be compared to those life-sized cardboard cutouts at the mall that may LOOK like a human being!

Those paper thin images may fool a little child in the store facing it dead on but the secret is out of the bag when you stand to the side of it and realize it is only one eighth of an inch thick!

An illusion!

An empty shell!

But the women who love this type of man may feel there is something missing and not logically understand that there IS not only another woman interfering in their relationship, but literally the ghosts of THOUSANDS of women that have taken up a permanent residence in the deepest recesses of his mind!

She begins to observe his movements for any signs of infidelity but almost always comes up short with any concrete evidence of cheating. What she doesn't realize is like that lethal drug Crack Cocaine, just ONE shot of porn is all that is needed to get a man hooked and goes STRAIGHT to the brain leaving the user craving more and more in greater amounts!

How can one woman keep up with such an inflated desire for sex alone? Even the male who is affected by this destructive habit is being lied to by his own self if he thinks that what he is indulging in is a wholesome practice!

Don't get it twisted, most people masturbate, whether one admits it or not most do, there is a minuscule minority who don't. But the most of us at some point in our lives have done it at different frequencies, no two people are the same so if there was a true poll conducted as to how often one indulges in self gratification, the results would be as varied as the grains of sand along miles and miles of a beaches shore!

Our sex drives are much more than just a physical urge; it is an emotional experience as well as a mental one. And anyone who is reading this knows that while masturbating you are damn sure thinking about those very things that turn you on whether you admit to it or not and whether makes sense or not!

The funny part about it is that the online porn experience is a phenomenon that has hijacked our normal level of fantasy play that most of us have and has pumped up our libido as though it were on some type of mental steroids, pushing our minds further beyond their normal capacities and in turn causing us to develop some VERY strange and twisted fetishes in the process!

The little things that were feminine turn ons in our culture don't do it for men anymore because porn has conditioned them to expect a woman to be this insatiable ultra vixen "take it anyway/anywhere you want it bring another chick along I'll do her too" sex slave!

How unfair and how unhealthy!

Its to the point now where a man doesn't have to wait three dates (Nor does he WANT to!) to get that magical good night kiss at the front door at the end of a wonderfully intoxicating date! And let me add that in THOSE good old fashioned days where courting was mandatory, a man had BETTER be a perfect gentleman in his treatment of his date and also in how he spoke, carried himself as well as his being punctual. It was out of the QUESTION for him to not foot the total bill, hold the door for you and pull out the chair for you to sit down at the restaurant!

You see, his treatment of you was to be a snippet of what was to hopefully come as he would woo you over time to go steady as he set up to eventually "pop the question" on HIS knees!

What does the younger generation know about this? Back in the day we as men had to wait at LEAST three dates to get a romantic passion filled kiss that went by much too fast while the rule of the game now in these last days is that these porn afflicted wolves expect a woman to get down on her knees on the FIRST date and gargle his next generation of baby seed, and if it is not done skillfully to his fancy better than the last ten chicks who've accommodated his lustful whims (All within the last two weeks!) then she will quickly find HERSELF out the door!

How sad. And SHE probably footed the bill for dinner, the hotel room AND gave this goon/thug/clown her last paycheck just to make him "love" her or will be there to bail his sorry a-s-s out of jail only to discover those other four chicks waiting for their "man" to be released out of the slammer is also HER man!

I know I've gotten off of the point of this blog but in essence I haven't, because I believe porn has eroded the wholesome dynamics of healthy dating and relationships.

Back in the good days when a REAL lady walked down the street, men would halt there conversation immediately to greet her in a respectful manner while offering to help her with her bags or anything to make her day easier.

 It was an honor to offer yourself as a respectable man to help a lady........
......and may I say that this was done with NO ulterior motive! Now most men offer to help you with a price to pay at the end of their "favor", usually fueled by the larger than life images that have been dancing around in their head from the night before during their high powered rapid stroking right hand (Or left hand if he is a lefty! Lol!) masturbatory lust session.

They cannot see you woman as who you truly are inside as a person because of this!

Most of the time you are only to be used as cheap fodder for their twisted fantasies that are cultivated secretly behind that locked door but……

……..What ever happened to REAL passion?

We have been mislead and are literally lost in the propaganda and lies that the television, radio and overall fake culture has taught us about how the sexes should treat each other and we are WAY off point and off course!

The old men who should actually be a grand source of wisdom are “amped” up off of Viagra and Cialis and are chasing tail long after their booty chasing season in life is over! They sit at home watching porn plotting and planning how they are going to seduce the next young girl fresh off of the naive barely legal assembly line to add a notch to an already ragged belt that has been notched already for over half a century!

You can't even bring your young daughters around the presence of these mentally stimulated physically medicated drones, because half of what they are thinking would land you and I in prison from what they would attempt to do with our young girls and how we would try to break their perverse necks! I'd really turn out some good blogs and drawings then 'cause I'd have all the time in the world on my hands! Lol!

Our wayward women have educated themselves in the ways of seduction long before they have matured emotionally to understand that what they are in possession of is a VERY powerful thing! So many are heard trading off the secret techniques of how the have learned to satisfy their lovers in the most freakish of manners all before graduating from middle school!

So access to pornography has not only ruined men of all ages but has warped the minds of women who now don't understand how to carry themselves as proper upstanding ladies who are to demand respect by the way they carry themselves out and about the world! The follow the example of what they see in the sex crazed media and even more so what is expected by these sex crazed men of all ages!

We all must understand one thing, that satan has taken everything righteous and good in our appetites and has used it against us to bring us to an immediate DEATH!

Overindulgence in our natural desires is the perfect foil to bring us to our needs. Oversleeping, overeating and a chemically supercharged mentally elevated sex drive that is kept at its peak by a constant bombardment of erotic images in our everyday lives goes undetected by most.

Porn is just another means to reach those who are otherwise untouchable. Its a vicious cycle, it's the undetectable mind drug.

So while many of us feel as though we are above the visible vices of drugs, alcoholism or gambling, pornography can and has slowly gotten its grip on our lives before we can realize it!

So while back in the day a quick very welcomed but unexpected and extremely intoxicating glimpse of a woman’s well endowed cleavage or the fleeting visual gift of a ladies well developed thighs in fishnets as she slid from the back of taxi cab were things that titillated men to wonder what more was "there" that was left to the imagination, these days are just not enough! We need to go BACK to the days of courtship as corny as it may seem to you because now more than ever before it is obvious that the erosion of male/female relationships and expectations have degraded not only an entire generation, but the very fabric of our total society to say the least!

Let's show our youth by EXAMPLE the right way for the sexes to love each other while instructing them HOW to deal with there desires properly, showing them the process of courting and teach them that SOME things are BEST reserved ONLY for the marriage bed! The world would be so much of a better place indeed..........

Contact Lance Scurvin At LanceScurv@yahoo.com

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Official Cause Of Death: Illiteracy !!!!

The Federal Propaganda Court - Don't Tell The Truth Or You Might Get Locked Up!

Here is some visual food for thought. Reality is all about one's perspective, one man's hero is another man's criminal.......

Click on the picture to see the larger size!

Do You Know Who Is The CEO Of Red Lobster & Olive Garden?

Each week tens of thousands of diners eat at an Olive Garden or Red Lobster restaurant. Few of these diners know that the CEO heading these large restaurant chains is a black man.

Clarence Otis Jr. Is the CEO of Darden Restaurants Inc., the largest casual dining operator in the nation. The firm operates nearly 1,400 company-owned restaurants coast to coast serving 300 million meals annually. Darden employs 150,000 workers and has annual revenues of $6 billion.

 

Born in Vicksburg, Mississippi, Otis moved to Los Angeles when he was 6 years old. His father was a high school dropout who worked as a janitor. The family lived in Watts at the time of the 1965 riots. In the post-Watts period, Otis recalls being stopped and questioned by police several times a year because of the color of his skin.

A high school guidance counselor recommended him for a scholarship at Williams College, The highly selective liberal arts institution in Massachusetts. Otis graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Williams and went on to earn a law degree at Stanford.   Otis landed on Wall Street as a merger and acquisitions attorney for J..P. Morgan Securities. He joined Darden Restaurants in 1995 as corporate treasurer. He became CEO in 2004.

  

How many of us—or anyone else—knew this?!

(But we heard all about Michael Vick, didn’t we?)

Things have got to change.

Start now, by FORWARDING THIS LINK TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

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What Little Marys & Little Daves Are Made Of........

"Mommy I want that toy!"



We often here this cried out when in the shopping mall or in Wal-Mart and the scenarios seems to always go a little something like this either one of two ways:


A little kid is told that they cannot get the toy that they wanted as it was not in the budget and it was not going to happen because the child was misbehaving and very disruptive in school earlier that week.


The child screams at the top of their lungs much to surprise of everyone within earshot and purposely falls to the ground in protest as though this rebellious action will force the parent to acquiesce to the child's demands.


In this scenario the parent will say: "Okay! Okay Little Mary! I will get the toy for you if you just behave yourself and stop the screaming! I will get you whatever it is that you want! You know that I love you!"


Little Mary has learned this time as in the many occasions thereafter, the tantrums work, and little do we know it but we now have here the beginnings of the child controlling the parent. Little Mary's mother has a church friend with her most of the time shopping together who has witnessed that this is how she raises her child.


Don't think that I have lost my mind, because I have witnessed this process of control play itself out right before my very eyes so many times before with divine results to develop a human being that is irresponsible, lazy, not accountable for their actions and disrespectful to the law, the community and to the citizens that comprise those very same communities.



The life training of manipulation has begun. Little Mary has had her first taste and confirmation that in this world laws can be broken without punishment and the rules really don't have to be followed without any amount of accountability whatsoever.


The second scenario might go a little something like this:


A little kid is told that they cannot get the toy that they wanted as it was not in the budget and it was not going to happen because the child was misbehaving and very disruptive in school earlier that week.


The child screams at the top of their lungs much to surprise of everyone within earshot and purposely falls to the ground in protest as though this rebellious action will force the parent to acquiesce to the child's demands.



In this scenario the parent will say: It's NOT okay to behave in this manner! I am the mother and YOU are the child little David! NOT the other way around! I will NOT get the toy for you because you did NOT earn it with those disrespectful ways you have displayed in school! If you continue to misbehave and continue the screaming it will get you the punishment that you seem to want so badly! After I raise you up properly you WILL know one day beyond a shadow of a doubt that I really love you!"



Little David has learned this time as in the many occasions thereafter, the tantrums just won't work, and little do we know it but we now have here the beginnings of the parent controlling the child.


Don't think that I have lost my mind because although it may not be as common today as it was when I was growing up, I have witnessed this process of righteous control play itself out right before my very eyes so many times before with divine results to develop a human being that is responsible, hard working, accountable for their actions and respectful of the law, the community and to the citizens that comprise those very same communities.


And many say that proper upbringing doesn't have an effect on what type of individual and character that the child will grow up to have!


Yes!


There ARE exceptions to the general rule and we can always bring up the story of someone that we know personally who was brought up in very adverse conditions. Not only that, but that same environmentally challenged individual might have accrued a massive record of various misdemeanors and felonies from repeatedly breaking the law and STILL overcame the seemingly insurmountable odds very late in life to make a BIG metamorphosis in their personal turnaround!


Yes.


We all know those particular situations, but if truth be told we must understand that this is NOT the norm and instances of this are far and few between! So do not be taken for a ride when perpetually non productive clown who is only looking for a quick hit of their well known addiction with YOU footing the tab tells you that "Malcolm X was a drug user and a criminal at one time in his life before God stepped in and turned it around so you DON'T know what He has is store for me with MY life!"

True.


But Malcolm X's transition wasn't overnight and when he began to see the light he craved to soak in knowledge at a unprecedented feverish pace that very few could match even though he may have been locked down in solitary confinement many numerous times......


.......He did NOT crave to go back to the same street mentality that got him into trouble in the first place, not unless it was when he was imbibed with a renewed mind and light so generously shared and shined down on those very same streets so OTHERS won't get into the same trouble that he did years previously.


Like a caterpillar who takes refuge in the safety and darkness of the cocoon, his change is happening right before our very eyes without us actually being able to see it on the surface under the cover of the cocoon..


But even in Malcolm's travel on this earthly plane, he had an decent upbringing that he could subconsciously "go back to" in the deepest recesses of his thinking. With a fine example of loving supportive mother and unique specimen of a father who was a strong preacher who never displayed one iota of cowardice in the face of the Ku Klux Klan's most treacherous era of the south.

And I believe it was this spirit that permeated the deepest layers of his being that began to resurface when the spoon of knowledge began to stir up what was dormantly there all through his wayward years in the glass of his life.......


You ALWAYS go back to what you know and if you do not instill the proper habits, qualities and examples to your young ones whether they are your same biological D.N.A. sharers or not, you will have severely handicapped them for the hostile environment of this world that does not care for them and will eat them up and spit them out unless they possess their own trusted internal compass to be empowered to navigate these uncertain waters........


This is hands DOWN the greatest gift that you can give to your children!


.........and many still just don't get it.

You hear those parents crying out about their children all the time whether it be directly to you or an overheard conversation in the bay next to yours while you are pumping gas at the rest stop filling station: "I don't know where I went wrong with little Mary, (Let me interject that "Little Mary" is now 19 years old with 5 kids, never was made to finish high school and obviously wasn't taught to keep her thighs closed either as she, in the back of her mind, searched hard and long for the father figure that she never had! This is why it turns her on so much when having unprotected sex, void of commitment and monogamy, that her "man for now" aggressively pins her down, grabs her hair hard from behind and TELLS her that she got NO choice but to give up the p***y to "daddy" RIGHT NOW!..........I must also interject that Little Dave has grown up to be a successful international businessman, married committed and faithful to his high school sweetheart who now have five young elementary school age children together who are well behaved honor students.) I gave her everything that she could have ever wanted, a nice home, her own room, designer clothes, lots of spending money and absolutely NO curfew! So I made sure that she had it better than I did growing up AND all of the kids around here in the neighborhood but I guess it just wasn't enough!"


Am I hearing this right? "Just wasn't enough?"


Yes. I guess she is right. It just wasn't enough.


She gave her the private space in the form of her own room but she never OCCUPIED that very same room WITH her much needed motherly presence enough to make a difference, it just wasn't enough!

She gave her the latest fashions and designer clothes to bring her unnecessary attention to put on her a-s-s but never took the time to get down and WHIP that same a-s-s when she got out of line, the amount of butt whippings that were mandatory for talking back to you in public after you spend all of your hard earned money on this ungrateful viper because of how "suped up" she was from the boys making her think she was a star.......?          .......It just wasn't enough!

She allowed her to stay out as late as she wanted figuring that she would be her friend if she allowed her to have her way. But she soon found out that if she let her stay out until 9p.m. it wasn't enough, she wanted to hang out until 11 p..m. And when mother let little Mary party until 12 midnight, there was always an excuse for her to have to arrive home at 3 in the morning. Little Mary always wanted more with disastrous results and poor mother just doesn't get it.

She gave her LOTS of spending money and absolutely NO SENSE to be responsible and properly handle the massive amounts of CENTS that she had at HER disposal at her MOTHER'S expense

With the big home that mother worked HARD for so Little Mary could have a big yard to run around in and raise her in the best way she thought she could, she is now raising as a grandmother ALL FIVE of Little Mary's children all by herself while she tries to find little Mary's whereabouts after she heard from a close church sister how she saw her walking the hoe strip with a freshly administered black eye late one night in a micro mini skirt looking like she was high out of her mind and about maybe 4 months pregnant.

Now grandmother thinks back to that crossroads of a day in Wal-Mart when her precious little Mary wanted that toy and screamed her lungs out and wouldn't quit until mother gave in and let her have her way. Now that she thinks back to that fateful turning point of a day and says to herself that if she had got up in that a-s-s on that day BOTH of their lives wouldn't be in the sorry state of affairs that it is now! 

Now with Little Mary no where in sight, she finds herself once again at Wal-Mart not with just one, but five screaming children who all want "that toy" that they were told earlier they couldn't have. The children all scream at the top of their lungs much to surprise of everyone within earshot and they ALL purposely fall to the ground in protest as though this rebellious action will force their grandmother to acquiesce to her grandchild's demands. Accompanied by her church sister friend who is witnessing the scenario first hand as she did many times before with Little Mary, can only shake her head ever so slightly in disgust when she hears grandmother say to Little Mary's kids:

"Okay! Okay Little Mary's children! I will get the toy for each of you if you just behave yourself and stop the screaming! I will get you whatever it is that you want! You know that I love you!"

Now her church sister friend feels that she should speak up now more than EVER before as they stand in the check out line and she sees the five shiny toys that grandma placed in her shopping cart for Little Mary's kids.

She feels that she should speak up because as she has witnessed with her now grandmother church friend, raising Little Mary years before and in the many occasions thereafter, the tantrums have definitely worked on her, and she knows for a fact that we now have the beginnings of the child controlling the parent.

She should know what she is talking about if you want to be honest about it, because she is not ONLY Little Mary's mother's friend, but she is also Little Dave's mother and knows a thing or too about NOT being an enabler.............

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A Typical Night On My Bus Route: "The Priceless Lesson That I Learned From "The Businessman"

Everyday driving the bus can be somewhat of a routine situation if you do not have the ability to really look below the surface. We as a people run on a schedule that can be quite predictable in a way that can rob our life of the necessary amounts of spontaneity that we need to spice up an existence to add a bit of delicious intrigue to a life that can become void of anticipation.

While many of us would love to have a little more spontaneity in our lives, there are many who thrive under the constant scope of the unpredictable.

It never ceases to amaze me how those of us who have a set work schedule with hours that are practically written in stone always seem to bitch and moan the most about how the schedule is killing them and how they are so stressed out because of it.

While those who are called homeless who live moment to moment seemed to have developed an instinct for navigating through life without the luxury of knowing nothing beforehand on how their day will develop.

They do not know WHAT they will eat, they do not know WHERE they will eat, and many couldn't tell you even IF they will eat!

The same goes for sleeping, there is a whole SCIENCE behind being homeless and many of us would be crushed if we had to endure the daily and nightly rigors of"winging it" for the amenities that we so arrogantly take for granted in our stable homes.

Driving my bus at night as opposed to the day offers many opportunities for me to observe the controlled prepackaged world as most see it as well as the underground netherworld that runs covertly concurrent deep in the underbelly of this illusion of a so called major tourist spot named Orlando.

There are legions of many faceless people who thrive in the underground economy as well as those hungry for the immeasurably microscopic crumbs from the table of abundance who are barely getting a bite from that same sometimes elusive and always invisible buffet of street life.

The funny thing is you cannot tell who many of them are, they appear normal, civil, mannerable, literate, personable and will oftentimes have an very successful affluent look!

They are stripped away of the facades that many of us so crudely display while many of those who are less fortunate are only seeking relief from the very obvious lifestyle that manifested itself from the result of either bad luck, poor choices or both.

One regular passenger that really sticks out in my mind is a gentleman that I often refer to as "The Businessman." This man is one of the most puzzling individuals that I have ever encountered in my years of driving for the public.
When I first laid eyes on him years ago I remember saying to myself "what is HE doing on this bus?" Why did I say this? Well I didn't say it because he appeared to be a derelict or anything, I said that to myself because I thought by his appearance ALONE he was far above ever being seen near the inside of a city bus for the purpose of riding on public transportation.

Now let's get to the juicy part about him, he is an older white male, I would say approximately 62 years old or so, short, standing in at about five foot four inches tall with a slim masculine build. Nothing exceptional about his appearance in any particular way, except that he does sport a head full of white hair cropped in a professional corporately acceptable style.

He is ALWAYS conservatively dressed down in a carefully tailored well fitting suit. It is obvious that plenty of care and time was taken in putting together his meticulously impressive appearance.

His shoes were made of the finest leather and were always polished to perfection. His collection of ties were definitely vast as I have never ever seemed to catch this man wearing the same tie twice!

His shirts were always clean and pressed and he always carried either an attache' case or a small bag that looked to contain possibly some business files or something of that sort.

His Rolex watch brilliantly glistened on his wrist as he always seemed a little on edge in his demeanor and sometimes even upset that maybe he was running a bit late to an important meeting. Constantly he always glanced at his watch and checked the time every two minutes.

His presence and bearing is that of one who brings total silence to a room full of chaotic shark like shysters upon his arrival. He commands attention wheree EVER he goes and can be very intimidating in his own silent way as you kind of understand that somehow, somewhere and someway that he runs things in a VERY big manner.

You just don't know where.

He walks with the utmost confidence every time I see him and appears to be the kind of person who wouldn't flinch in the face of danger, hell, he wears a Rolex on the city bus late at night! So I would never question his lack of fear although at times I have wondered about the level of his sanity.

Maybe he's strapped and packin'.........?

This was the professional "go getter" impression he always seemed to impress upon me from my perspective, but something about him below the facade just wasn't right. I just couldn't put my finger on it............

Something about his movements just didn't match his appearance as I was privy to his company frequently even though as a bus driver I was a faceless entity and have a presence undetectable to most.

No, he wasn't on drugs.

No, he wasn't a con artist running scams on people as he said very little in the years that I've known him from a distance.

He was somewhat stand offish and very soft spoken.........

But it began to add up over time as to what the mystery of the businessman was all about! He was ALWAYS on the bus a little more than a person with a full life would be. He never seemed to be going anywhere in particular, I never noticed this at first because I assumed because of his successful image he must have a lot of business to take care of.

And it dawned on me that this is why we get scammed the way we do because we judge people on appearances, and because we judge people on appearances this very habit that we foolishly depend on to gauge the content of a strange persons unknown character can be turned around and used against us with great success.

I see evidence of this every Sunday for example on my bus, the same guys that were drinking up a storm, begging money and sometimes drugging it all week long without any semblance of employment or gainful living are now zoot suited up, showered and shaved and slapped with some of the cheapest cologne that could EVER assault the nostrils in search of a responsible hard working church woman who most likely lives alone with no children.

She would be most desirable to these poor examples of manhood if she was a little past her prime and a lot heavier in body weight than her younger days insuring a healthy dose of insecurity that these leeches could capitalize on for their own predatory mission and gain.

Armed with a Bible that they never took the time to ever read, it is obvious that it is merely a stage prop and part of their costume as they are always the last to find the scripture that the Pastor calls for his congregation to read.

Still shuffling through the Holy Word long after everyone else has found it, they give up and coyly peek to the front of their Bible to find the position of the book they seek before blending in with the rest as they scope the crowd for lonely woman  who will fall victim to their "under the radar" flirtations.........

These goons know that there are many women out there who may be a good person really trying to follow the Lord and do the right thing but secretly long for the electric touch of a man.........

.......these women always seem to settle for less while these guys high five each other on the corner later on that week, laughing amongst themselves bragging about how they met a new victim and now have a new mailing address in "the rich part of town!"

Surface appearances give absolutely NO indication as to the character of the person deep down inside.

......but we will definitely talk about that on another blog!

......now back to the Businessman!

I was on to something with this man, I mean, I really do not go on the bus with the intention of digging into someone's personal business but from my regulated position everyday, you just can't help but notice the repetitious events in the daily lives of your passengers.

I started to really notice the businessman's movements, let me rephrase that, I started to purposely watch his movements, his comings and goings. I noticed that he would sometimes ride my bus for the entire round trip. Surely he knew the route so it couldn't have been a mistake. He didn't pass his bus stop because on the way heading back in on the return trip he would ride back all the way to the end downtown.

Periodically gazing at the interior of the bus while it was full of passengers, I would notice the businessman talking under his breath, nothing unusual because he always wore a bluetooth (earpiece) and was probably conducting some type of business transaction on the phone until I noticed him mumbling to himself one day WITHOUT the bluetooth on!

"Nooooo! He couldn't be losing it" I thought to myself as I quickly told myself that a man of his standing probably had some new type of bluetooth that you can't see buried deep in his ear from plain view. But as he exited the bus to no avail, both ears were empty!

Don't you see how human nature can be? When the small signs began to appear that something wasn't right about this guy, I began to make excuses to make things look right to me about him in my mind. And although him talking to himself was a simple non life threatening observation on my part, how many of us find a family member using drugs and begin to make an excuse against what is "oh so obvious?" How many of you ladies find regular and obvious indications of your man's philandering ways only to go beyond giving him the benefit of the doubt into a mindset of twisted denial?

As the saying goes: If it looks like duck..........


Well the businessman began to ride the entire bus route's round trip trip on a regular basis. His expensive customized suites began to appear disheveled and his shirts wrinkled. I didn't see him wearing the Rolex anymore and he looked so worn and tired. He would abruptly exit the bus on bus stops in areas that had nothing around that particular area open at that late hour of the night and had me wondering where was he actually going because my bus was the last bus to get back downtown that night.

One night, while driving late, I noticed him sitting at the bus sitting upright but sleeping, I stopped and honked the horn as he jumped to attention before quickly entering my bus.

Now his behavior was obviously bizarre as he would change his seat about fifteen times in a twenty minute ride. He looked pissed off as he spoke louder than ever before to an imaginary entity as if he had some dispute in a corporate setting.

After all the time he rode with me on my bus over the years it dawned on me that this man who actually bother no one, always paid his bus fare and never begged for money was HOMELESS!

Unbelievable! .........Because most people who saw him never knew and never will. It took the regularity of seeing him from the bus driver's point of view to discover his well kept secret. He definitely has some source of regular income as I was thinking that at one time he really was a corporate CEO and took a big fall financially when the stock market crashed and still had some money in a trust fund socked away that helped to keep him afloat.

And in actuality I don't really think that he was without a roof over his head because he had to have somewhere to keep all of the shoes, clothes and possessions and he never really fell below a certain level of maintainence.

Most individuals who took a fall in this poor economy have dealt with it the best that they could in many ways. Those of us who know what it is like to do without don't freak out when it is time to tighten the belt to make it through the rough times. Others act like it is the end of the world when they lose the high lifestyle amenities that they have become so comfortable living with..

It wouldn't hurt me at all to sell my car and ride the bus, (I already have and absolutely do not miss the note NOR the maintenance!) but some people identify with the material possessions that they own so much that they begin to think that this is who they are. They have lost their sense of esteem from within and have transferred it externally. So now when they must part with the worthless junk that they depend on for their sense of status right along with their fellow cohorts who also honor this sick code of ethics.

Imagine how many millions of similar stories that there are out there that we will never know in this vast world. Sometimes we may knock ourselves for not reaching the projected accomplishments that we put ourselves under immense pressure to reach, but even if you never make it "to the top" of your goals, consider youself blessed, consider yourself blessed if you have an internet connection and the eyesight to enjoy reading these words whether you agree with them or not!

Consider yourself blessed that you have SANE mind to know where you are and what you are doing at this very moment.

We are forced in these lean times to have no choice BUT to appreciate the TRUE blessings of life that the Creator has so abundantly rained down on our sometimes unappreciative souls. So thank God for the lean time s too!

I am reminded of this precious and often very overlooked fact constantly everyday I sit behind the wheel of that forty foot bus and knowing this has kept me even more grounded in my life than ever before and I am thankful for this realization. 

So while I am blessed more so than I have ever been in any point in my life I understand that I am not what I own, hell, I don't even own what I own because I can't take it with me when my Maker calls.

So I've learned from the lesson of "The Businessman" that it is fruitless to lose my mind over lost possessions and in essence losing the ability to absorb the beautiful life that I am granted right now in this very moment!

Contact Lance Scurvin At LanceScurv@yahoo.com

Call or Text Direct: 407-590-0755

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Our Twisted Friendships & The Emotional Quicksand That We Allow Ourselves To Reluctantly Take A Bath In!

Avoid the emotional quicksand of confusion by keeping away from those who are ruled by their unchecked  insecurities.



What do I mean by this?


Well many of us have in our lives some very wonderful individuals to whom we consider close friends, the unseen tragedy masked in these friendships is that they contain a hidden source of major energy drainage because YOU have to cater to their major insecurities!


They are not aware of it and would never consciously or purposely stress you out at all but this in fact makes it harder for you to make them aware of the effect they are having on you. And for the most part we, in attempt to NOT hurt their feelings usually do not say anything about it.


We just grin and bear it.


But in a sense it is inadvertently disrespectful to you to be a constant drain on you with their unchecked issues and it is somewhat a sign of weakness on your part not to bring of what discomforts you in your friendship with this person.


If you trust that your friendship is truly strong and will stand the test of time, then you should NEVER fear speaking your mind to them because if they cannot handle it then it wasn't a strong friendship in the first place.


Now we all sometimes may be guilty of avoiding a phone call when we might be running late for an appointment as we look at the caller I.D. and mumble under our breath: "Dammit, this is the wrong time! I'm sorry I can't talk now but I am running late and will call you later on tonight when I get in, but I just don't have the time".........

But when it becomes a habit that you would rather NOT hear from this person even though you cherish their friendship dearly, then it is time to take stock of their positioning in your life and figure out if they have become a draining entity of your precious life force.


There are many annoying ways in which you have to "tiptoe around the tulips" in many normal life situations that would have been otherwise pleasant if you didn't have to babysit the hangups that they refuse to deal with.


I had a friend a long time ago growing up that hated anyone who lived a homosexual lifestyle. Now although when pressed on this issue myself I would have to say that I do not approve of it because of the scriptural proof that is a well documented Biblical fact, but on the other hand I do not feel that any law abiding citizen should be denied any of the rights afforded all human beings.


I don't think one should be threatened or harassed because of their lifestyle choices as long as your private business is not put all out in the street in a lewd way to provoke disgust in those who may not be into it. Let God be the judge and this goes for heterosexuals too!


But to get back on point, our friend would get highly upset if he encountered anyone in our midst in public who may have been homosexual and we all would be tense because we didn't know what obscenities or insults would fly out of his mouth at any given moment!


So therefore when we planned a trip to a restaurant to enjoy a meal together as friends we felt that we were literally on pins and needles whenever that door swung open because we knew how he would react if the patron appeared slightly effeminate in their mannerisms.

So now WE had to cramp our style in order to squeeze out some enjoyment in a meal that was now ruined even though it was deliciously prepared. Our focus was not on the wonderful conversation that could have taken place but now on attempting to prevent a situation that in the past had always gotten out of hand.


Is this any way to live?


NO!


You HAVE to speak up even if that person can't take it. If this is THEIR issue then why should YOU have to bear the weight of it?


There IS no imaginary chain holding you in bondage with this person in this lifetime. True friends choose to walk along the overlapping path in life together because they WANT to and because they love the person unconditionally, but it shouldn't be at the expense of YOUR peace of mind!


Either they begin the process of healing themselves and acknowledging their issues or they must face not having your dysfunctional support of their draining insecurities. It would be an injustice to oneself to continue feeding in to their denial of their issues.


Would you continue to dine at your favorite restaurant even though it has recently incurred many serious Health Department violations?


No!

........Because l though you absolutely LOVE the food you just might make yourself sick if you continue to consume that Good food prepared in an UNHEALTHY manner, just as we are connected to GOOD people who possess UNHEALTHY issues!


Understand the analogy?


But most often those who are approached in a loving manner about their dysfunctions are severely insulted as many hold near and dear their hang ups close to them like a scared little girl in her darkened bedroom clutching tight her teddy bear after hearing a bump in the night.


They have lived so long in this manner that it has become "normal" for them to navigate through life in the way they do.....even to the point of rejecting healthy situations that would advance their lives in a very positive way because that situation wouldn't bend to adapt to their offbeat habits and adopt their idiosyncrasies with open arms much like the people they have already well trained in their personal lives.


Are you a well trained "monkey" to a person who is spoiled and forever stuck in their strange ways?


Many of us just roll with it and say to ourselves "this is just the way they are and will probably always be!" But when they piss you off with their retarded ways you wish they would get some professional help!

These entities will often act out to put you back "in line" whenever you allowed them to feel the sting of "normalcy" when dealing with a much bigger situation like the crisis that accompanies a funeral or an unfortunate  family medical emergency. You purpose in this persons life when you are well trapped in their emotional quicksand is to "buffer" them from any accountability for their eccentric ways and explain away their odd behavior even to the point in sharing in with the shame that THEY should be feeling because of how they are acting!


I've witnessed personally a woman who rejected a very high paying job that had great benefits and a wonderful retirement plan only to return to her former minimum wage job with NO benefits and NO type of retirement plan whatsoever just because she felt that the coworkers at the new job "weren't her kind of people" and "didn't seem to like her" after only two weeks of working there!


Amazing!


The truth was that she probably couldn't get away with the abnormal crap that she could get away with on her old job and would rather lose out on such a great opportunity for advancement than face the fact that there probably wasn't a thing wrong with her former "new" coworkers at all!


She refused to exist on a plane where she had to be removed from her very familiar dysfunctional comfort zone and arrive into a situation that would in essence become an emotional "boot camp" of forced growth!


Imagine how frightened she must have been?

Like that little kitty cat that your folks brought home from the animal shelter for you when you were a child but stayed under the couch for three days because it was scared of the new environment.


All new "friends" into this well trained inner circle must be indoctrinated into the unseen "ways" of what is acceptable behavior in this cult-like clique. The funny part about all of this is that it is all non verbal! No one speaks on it yet they all fall into place like the pigeons that dot the inner city urban landscape that know how to fly in a "V" formation.

In many of these "membership only" scenarios I have witnessed the major dysfunctional entity wielding some type of power over the rest of the group. Whether it be knowledge of an addiction of sorts or some type of immoral transgression that could be a potentially embarrassing or career threatening situation for the friend that puts up with the bizarre behavior, it is always some kind of power that they yield as a potential threat over the rest of that inner circle or individual involved if they seem they might break the unspoken and secret code of conduct.

If it is not that then it is some type of shared co-dependency that holds the same embarrassing results over all of those bound by what they consider a friendship. Here are some personal situations that I knew of and I am quite sure you can add a whole lot more to this list!

How about the arrogant domineering teenage daughter who ALWAYS gets what she wants from her father in the cash department because she knows how many women he has slept with behind her mothers back and he dreads the thought of being found out by his wife because she would surely divorce him and bring shame to him because he is also the pastor of a very much well known church in Queens New York!.......

And what about the none productive crackhead employee who never gets reprimanded for his constant "no call/ no shows and lateness's by the top boss on his job because he knows the drug addicted gay prostitute that the very same boss pays to indulge him in his  obsession to dress up in huge baby diapers and get verbally abused and whipped for being such a "bad bad boy!".......

What about the local house of prostitution that never seems to get busted because a good many of the police brass also happen to be the most loyal customers to the "much in demand" carnal services rendered there.......

How about the sins brazenly and openly indulged in by the church choir when they go on out of state trips never to be reprimanded by the pastor because not only are the choir members some of his most diligent tithe and offering contributors but also have the knowledge of pastor jumping from hotel room to hotel room to visit the church sisters privately in the wee hours for a little hands on deliverance from the stress that they carry in their blood engorged and well exposed moistened loins!

Hallelujah!

When one who may call themselves a friend to you also has potentially damaging knowledge of YOUR conundrums then you MUST jump to their requests or be made to endure their strange behaviors that will keep you caught up in that doomed state of "emotional quicksand."

.......and the funny part is that like quicksand, when we first step into this wonderful relationship, we don't even realize how "trapped" we will become as the "friendship" works its way up our ankles up to our legs after we "lean" our body weight into that situation.......

We often put ourselves in a bad situation as new found friends with these people because many times they have come to our aid to help us out of a traumatic situation unconditionally above and beyond the call of duty even eclipsing the help of our more established friendships and therefore leaping to the top of our personal rankings of being a "Godsend" in our lives. But what we do not realize is that this person KNEW that they could get in your good graces immediately and on the spot if they "appeared" to be that angel of light in leading the way out of your personal turmoil........

Unfortunately, this knowledge of the low point in your life will always remain on the tip of their tongue and hang over your head in a threatening manner always able to be thrown up in your face if you do not comply with the imbalanced dynamics of what they call a friendship!

It could have been that you fell behind in your mortgage to the point of almost going into foreclosure and they came to your aid miraculously by paying all that was owed or they took you into their home to live for a time until you got back on your feet after the constant beatings you received from your ex-man/ex-husband and had no other place to go.

Its always a price to pay and it is the closest thing to making a deal with the devil as you have learned to sometimes dislike this persons place they have hijacked in your life and even regret taking their aid in your time of great need!

Always be careful when someone is so quick to offer you help and they don't really know you from JACK!

One of the ways that will help us in this situation is to trust in the advice of an outside friend who will give an honest assessment into the sorry state of affairs that you are in under the guise of being called a friendship. Like that low lying branch that the person on the television show used to pull themselves out of the deadly pit of quicksand, they are independently rooted and can give you the outside untouchable support that you so desperately need to pull yourself out of a bad situation.

This is why your controlling friends who behave in these strange manners hate to see you spend time with anyone "out" of their inner circle without their stamp of approval. You will only hear bad things about their character and "why you need to keep away from them" from the lips of your dysfunctional acquaintance in order to manipulate you away from their very refreshing and  healing influence on your life.

Wow!

I hope that someone has gotten something from these shared words and would love to hear of your experiences and feedback as I could go on literally for days about the lessons learned from my own personal experiences which for the most part has been the absolute BEST teacher!

This kind of stuff you just can't learn from a book!

Contact Lance Scurvin At LanceScurv@yahoo.com

Call Or Text Direct: 407-590-0755

www.BlackPlanet.com/Scurvin

www.FaceBook.com/ Lance Scurvin

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www.YouTube.com/ScurvOriginalz

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